A blog from 2009 that was lying as a draft ever since..... I was in an emotionally difficult place back them.... Reminiscing, it feels so silly
How many of us (just realized that this is how I commenced even my previous blog) have passed through a phase in life where we seem to be chasing an impossibility, sandwiched between reality and idealism, painfully oscillating between the two....
An aftermath of a broken dream, a failed relationship, or a misplaced trust, in brief, one of those unfortunate predicaments in life where fate shows up as an uninvited guest at life's party and trashes it mercilessly, leaving you to clean up the mess.
Once the initial shock wears off, one is pushed into the realm of alternating reality and a dream infused trance.One moment reality bites, and you are fully aware of the fact that life does not always go the way you want it to, and that you have to face the facts and move on, but just when you feel confident enough to actually do that, the ghost of the past shows up haunting you until you take cover in a trance of denial and false hopes.The parody lies in the fact that even while you are in the trance you know how unintelligent or rather "dumb-witted" the hopes you are harvesting, sounds, even to you....
It's interesting (painful for the person undergoing this) how these two conflicting notions incessantly wage a war in your mind, driving you over the edge. The outcome of this war could determine the next course of your life. You either gather enough strength to pull yourself together and move on , OR, you plunge headlong into the abyss of insanity, OR, you live life with a constant reminder in your head about the past, the type you cannot snooze and go back to sleep, a feeling that can only be described (in the words of my best friend) as the feeling of having a stone in your shoes or food stuck between your teeth that's hard to get rid of.
Whatever is the outcome you choose, or the the one that chooses you, it's still a painstakingly slow process.
Its not easy to go through life with broken pieces of your dreams still hurting your eyes .....
People say you have a choice...... I agree... You do..... Its just an awfully painful one.....
How many of us (just realized that this is how I commenced even my previous blog) have passed through a phase in life where we seem to be chasing an impossibility, sandwiched between reality and idealism, painfully oscillating between the two....
An aftermath of a broken dream, a failed relationship, or a misplaced trust, in brief, one of those unfortunate predicaments in life where fate shows up as an uninvited guest at life's party and trashes it mercilessly, leaving you to clean up the mess.
Once the initial shock wears off, one is pushed into the realm of alternating reality and a dream infused trance.One moment reality bites, and you are fully aware of the fact that life does not always go the way you want it to, and that you have to face the facts and move on, but just when you feel confident enough to actually do that, the ghost of the past shows up haunting you until you take cover in a trance of denial and false hopes.The parody lies in the fact that even while you are in the trance you know how unintelligent or rather "dumb-witted" the hopes you are harvesting, sounds, even to you....
It's interesting (painful for the person undergoing this) how these two conflicting notions incessantly wage a war in your mind, driving you over the edge. The outcome of this war could determine the next course of your life. You either gather enough strength to pull yourself together and move on , OR, you plunge headlong into the abyss of insanity, OR, you live life with a constant reminder in your head about the past, the type you cannot snooze and go back to sleep, a feeling that can only be described (in the words of my best friend) as the feeling of having a stone in your shoes or food stuck between your teeth that's hard to get rid of.
Whatever is the outcome you choose, or the the one that chooses you, it's still a painstakingly slow process.
Its not easy to go through life with broken pieces of your dreams still hurting your eyes .....
People say you have a choice...... I agree... You do..... Its just an awfully painful one.....
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